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Crackerjackthe4th's Profile Picture
  • Listening to: Rocket Summer - Break It Out
  • Reading: Children of the Mind - Orson Scott Card
  • Playing: Team Fortress 2
So good news is, I'm still working on it.
Got Ch. 44 getting typed up as we speak, and to be honest I'm kinda jumping between the current timetable and throwing out excerpts for future chapters...


For a long time now I've been thinking of rewriting a significant amount of the content, so I'd like to ask what the few of you who still follow the story think about these rewrites.

As follows:
1) Even though it's become much easier over time for me to really connect with Fox--and therefore develop his character a little bit--I'm still having some difficulties properly conveying him to readers who expect to be a little more emotionally involved in him.
The reason I found it difficult is because nowadays I'm surrounded by dudes who, in my mind, are just like Fox himself.
So do you guys have any suggestions? Comments? Concerns? Anything specific events or tropes you want to see attributed to his character?
Lemme know, or at least tell me something that'll get the creative juices flowing.

2) I still think Lance Callahan was a solid choice for the Human stand-in, but one mistake I made in implementing him was that I took him WAY too seriously early on, giving the reader no chance to actually give a shit about him until that event in chapter 10.
The solution?
He's pretty much staying the way he is with *one* addition:
I'm trying to make him a little do I say this...? A butt-monkey.…
The reason for this is that no matter WHAT the context, if you just run in swinging, throwing in a character who's 20% badassier than anyone else on the roster, the suspension of disbelief just gets *murdered.* So what's the solution? Make this indelible badass charming by making him the part-time butt of some lame slapstick joke or the target of some ludicrous cosmic hiccup. (side note: The only time slapstick is ACTUALLY funny is when it's applied to such characters.) Or just give him some super quirky moments that otherwise wouldn't fit in with such a character at all.
The age in this story is starting to show, and it's high time I bump this guy down a notch.

3) More humans?
There were just a couple plot devices...specifically during the intro and Cerinian arcs...that seemed WAY out of place, but only because they came from Lucky 7 characters (which would make sense, if they were present) that don't even show up in the story, aside from the intro.
ie, the Baroque Wand and The Guardian.
So I'll ask again--more humans or no? 
The plus side to this is you get to see a wider range of dynamics and characterization, more variety of culture exchange, and you get a more vibrant history of what happened during Lucky 7 and all that. Another upside to this is that it makes the whole "humans in Lylat" thing a little more believable, since...I'm not gonna deny how JUST having Lance in there makes it look to those of you who are super wary of sues.
The downside to this is that focus gets drawn away from the "main three" a little more, and more characters equals less "screen-time" for everyone. (in other words, weakening the cast.) Another thing...this would take ALOOOOOOOOT of rewriting because if I did this, that'd be all the main characters from Lucky 7, which would add five additional characters (plus Lance) to an already considerable roster. Not all of them would receive "main" status or huge focus, but you can see how that might be a problem.
On top of that, it also throws a wrench in a couple of utterly heartbreaking twists I've been setting up since way early on...

4) This one's more of an afterthought than anything else.
How did I handle Krystal in this one? I've been trying to portray her as a dynamic character, as opposed to Fox or Lance who are already pretty much set in stone as to what kind of characters they are. (Static, for those of you who actually know the term.)
What do I mean by that? I mean that--as far as what I'm trying to portray--she starts off relatively emotional, vulnerable, etc, but slowly but surely "grows" into a legitimately strong and inspiring character by the time the story is completely concluded.
So was that process apparent or could I have handled that better?

= = = = =

That's all I got for now. 
Lemme know what you think, criticism is always welcome.

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spykethewolf Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2015  Student Writer
Happy birthday, man! :iconyeahplz: and Happy New Year! :iconimhappyplz:
Crackerjackthe4th Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2015
My Birthday's actually in six months, but thank you.
Happy New Year to you, too. :iconimhappyplz:
spykethewolf Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2015  Student Writer
I blame Deviantart. It told me it was then. :XD: But, oh're welcome! :iconyeahplz:
paintballadict9 Featured By Owner May 20, 2013
Just curious, is Blackhearts on hiatus?
Crackerjackthe4th Featured By Owner May 20, 2013
Yes and no...I swore I'd finish it, and I still intend to.
I'll have periods where I pump out a few chapters, and then have to retreat for whatever reason.

For the record, though, I'm actually enlisted, so it's kinda difficult to find the time to actually sit down and invest the time in it.

So...hiatus? Unofficially, but it's not like I'm ever going to abandon it. To be honest, I'm still getting new ideas all the time to throw into the mix, so some of that time is also devoted to rewriting certain things.

Thanks for your time.
keofoxglove Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013
thanks for the watch~
LauraGarabedian Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks so much for the fave, I truly appreciate the support :hug:
Crackerjackthe4th Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2012
Not a problem. Love your work.
slavemastah666 Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012

deviantART muro drawing Comment Drawing
Crackerjackthe4th Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2012
The hell is that? I don't even know what that is.
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